Friday, June 14, 2024

How Bougie Are The White Lotus Beauty Routines?

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The White Lotus is an excellent show about terrible rich people…what’s not to love? There’s the pristine Sicilian backdrop (yeah, yeah everyone really did go to Italy last summer), there’s mystery (two people are going to die in the end!), and there’s Jennifer Coolidge (hilarity ensues). Because ultimately the hotel show is a whodunnit, every little detail feels like a sneaky clue. For example, why does Portia dress like a pirate hoarding a Beacon’s Closet bounty? Why is Daphne so aggressively happy? And how do Ethan and Harper (played by the Aubrey Plaza) have such great skin?

Well, the latter isn’t exactly wrapped in mystery, thanks to a handful of bathroom scenes that reveal what is objectively a high maintenance beauty routine. I know this because, like any person given a two-second glimpse of a millionaire’s bathroom, I paused and zoomed in. This little window into their skincare personalities revealed they are brand loyalists with a $700 routine. They aren’t exactly the most skincare savvy (not a bottle of SPF to be found), but Harper does seem to appreciate a healthy assortment of toners and treatment serums. Ethan, like Harper, also seems to have sensitive skin, what with his sensitive shave gel from Nivea and Harper’s gentle cleansers. But overall, how bougie is their beauty routine? Let’s take a closer look.

The Hotel Products

Every hotel bathroom is equipped with a few complimentary toiletries and The White Lotus is no different. Their brand of choice appears to be Ortigia (they were spotted in the grandpa’s room in another episode), with Ortigia’s Room Essence Spray, hand soap, and shower gel rounding out the ones I could spot in Ethan and Harper’s room. These are all incredibly bougie in my book.

Ethan’s Products

I don’t believe this is Ethan’s full routine. Even my husband (who was washing his face with hand soap when I met him) has a more extensive routine. Nevertheless, just three products (save for toothpaste) were on Ethan’s side of the bathroom counter: Kiehl’s cleanser, Kiehl’s Facial Fuel moisturizer, and Nivea Men’s Sensitive Shave Gel. These are all relatively mid. Purged of personality, really. It’s like he googled man + skincare and bought the first things Googled showed him. On a bougie scale, these fall straight in the middle. Somewhat pricey but seriously bland.

Harper’s Products

The state of her relationship may be murky, but one thing’s clear is that Harper is a Clarins gal. She washes with not one, but two of their cleansers, swapping between Clarins Gentle Renewing Cleansing Mousse and Clarins Hydrating Gentle Foaming Cleanser. She also appears to be a fan of their hero product, Double Serum (a personal favorite because it hydrates really well and always makes my skin look glowy), and Clarins Hydra Essentiel—either the Silky Cream, Cooling Gel or Rich Cream (all three jars look the same).

When it comes to toners, Harper has three in rotation: Enzo Laslo VTM Micro Essence, Peach and Lily The Good Acids Toner, and MAC Prep + Prime (which she might just use as a setting spray, who’s to say?) And speaking of MAC, Harper also owns two MAC makeup compacts.

Rounding out Harper’s beauty products are three things from Kiehl’s. Their Avocado Nourishing Hydration Mask, Avocado Eye Cream, and Midnight Recovery Concentrate, two classics. On a bougie scale of drugstore to Dyson, I’d say Harper’s routine is two clicks below the bougiest. Does she have expensive taste? Yes. Does she spend her money wisely? Eh, she could do better. One can hope that Daphne will impart the wonders of The Cream or Vintner’s Daughter to her. That is, unless Harper wasn’t one of the two guests to kick the bucket.

—Ashley Weatherford

Photo via HBO

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